It's never too late if you don't give up
My journey has not been without challenges, and I hope you will see from my story how Shindenkan's unity, learning principles and values helped me on my journey and may also help you on your way - all it takes is trust.
Originally, my journey started in the fall of 2021, when I set myself the goal of reaching the 3rd Kyu. Full of courage, without really knowing what I had decided on, I started my journey - a journey that would turn out to have a somewhat different course than I and everyone around me had expected 😊
There were several of us who as a team set ourselves the same goal – to reach the 3rd kyu, and as always the community in Shindenkan was strong, and the 21/22 season was no exception. We trained together during the week and at the weekend there was both brown belt training, NKT and OBC. Throughout the process, we as a team lived by Shindenkan's values. The values "Take responsibility for yourself and others", "You are much better than yourself and others tell you" and "We believe in you, but you must also believe in yourself", were unconsciously applied while we helped, supported, cheered and encouraged each other to get through shared and individual trials.
So if I or others had a day when everything I could was suddenly gone, or I just felt that it was hard, there was always support and help from the others. There was always a team of Shindenkaners who ensured that together we lifted each other and found the energy to persevere - all made possible through the fantastic team of instructors, who always firmly believed that we were better than ourselves and others told us.
But... precisely there in the rush, where the goal was within reach, where we had all fought, where we had cheered and supported each other to pass the Cardio test, precisely there my journey ended abruptly. With the team at my back, the goal disappeared, and the conviction that I could complete the last stamina test. Right there I had to make the painful choice to stop my graduation process! Even though I knew that everyone on the team, including the coaching staff, would do everything possible for me to move forward towards my graduation.
It was a hard choice, but with Shindenkan's principle that "The future is created by your actions and not by what you say or think you will do", I made the only right choice for me - to stop. If you cannot complete all tests 100%, then you cannot reach the goal - the rules are the same for everyone.
With such a personal defeat – standing right in front of the finish line and having to throw in the towel, it was not an easy choice to set the goal of 3rd Kyu this season. The back was not in order and the training during the summer had been minimal. But I was faced with the choice of giving up completely or stepping into the ring again. I chose the ring and to support the team that had been there for me. Because in Shindenkan we say "There is room for everyone, and you can if you want". And thus began the 2nd chapter of my journey to attain the 3rd Kyu.
But this time, I wanted to be more careful and wiser during the process, and most of all, I had decided - not to give up. Of course, it required something to get started again and to believe in myself, but the togetherness was there and I knew that the team would be there to help me reach my goal.
The 22/23 season has obviously been different than before, perhaps because of the choice not to give up and ensure that I could complete. Perhaps because we have a highly dedicated close-knit team of instructors and the energy Kimu Sensei has brought by being closer to the Brown/Black Belt training, which has led to increased knowledge transfer and has pushed us to increased intensity. Perhaps because we at Shindenkan have an absolutely incredible spirit and a togetherness where there is room for everyone.
Perhaps a combination of all elements, which for me has given an increased focus on Shindenkan's learning principle of "Strive for perfection, high self-esteem and high self-confidence". Despite my increased focus on taking care of myself, you have to learn all the time, and again, not everything went as expected (I wonder if I'll ever learn).
The journey has in many ways been an aha experience, where new knowledge has been added to katas I thought were just sitting in the closet. But no, suddenly there was something between the defense and the attack, suddenly there was a change to the foot positions. All together, something that opened up a whole new world of knowledge and understanding, as well as a realization that I am not finished learning, but have only just started the journey. But at the same time it was also a learning to know or acknowledge to myself that life is one long learning. Precisely our value "know yourself" came into play, or perhaps in my case "know your limitations".
Again this year, I had to dig deep within myself, when during the Cardio training I had a fiber rupture. With 1.5 months until the test, I was just about to give up again. Suddenly the goal was no longer within reach, and I was faced with the choice to either stop, or live by our learning principle "Recognize that it is never too late". I looked for the solution, rather than the problem. If I couldn't run, I had to change my saddle and choose another cardio test - cycling.
Cycling was the solution, but it was also a big challenge because I couldn't pedal long enough. Again I searched for a solution and in the bike max test your body weight matters quite a lot for how long and how many watts you have to pedal. I had to admit that the solution had to be a combination of losing some weight and pedaling efficiently and gently. The conclusion was that it would be faster to lose 6 kilos than to believe that my fiber burst could handle the extra pressure. This is how I once again overcame a challenge and completed the Cardio test and thus got closer to the 3rd Kyu.
With most of the physical tests completed, we faced the written test based on Shindenkan's Syllabus handbook and the knowledge handed down through our courses and training. Personally, I didn't feel ready at all and I didn't feel I had control of the syllabus and was unsure how it would go. But as always we support each other, and with the support of others in the graduation process and dedicated effort; notes on the mirror, in the car, on the fridge and daily reading I showed up for the test still not sure if I would be able to complete it and I was probably not the only one 😊
But despite our worries, we all passed the test - I was really happy about that.
This season, all physical work in the home and garden was postponed until after graduation, as I knew that my back would still be able to put an end to my participation in the final tests, Shiai (Freestyle) and Stamina (endurance), which are definitely not for all. Shiai was an intense experience. A realistic test under controlled conditions of what fighting is like out in the real world. A "healthy" experience of one's own limits when it really matters. Shiai is normally for the younger ones, but we were a couple of mature gentlemen who were allowed to help during this stop test, but only when the young lions were a little tired 😊 It was great to try!
Stamina is the last and final physical test where our endurance is tested. A pillow fight with intervals of punches, followed by kicks, and finally a free combination between punches and kicks. I distinctly remember earlier thinking; it doesn't look so bad! First punch and then kick, and yes the last part it clearly looks tough. But then it was my turn. By the time I was done with the first pass – hitting, I was tired and out of breath. By the time I finished the second pass – kicking, I was exhausted and gasping for breath. But by the time I finished the third pass – combos, I was drained of energy and out of breath – I had given it my all.
When you stand in the ring, you can hear all the spectators cheering us on with encouraging shouts and energy and every now and then you hear your name, but in the end it's completely shut down, I just focused on going on and on, holding on the pace up and not to stop. Basically, I just focused on surviving and passing.
Suddenly it's over... It's all over and it's a huge release, and when you know you've done everything you could and together with the team have finally reached the goal - then the joy is absolutely crazy and I was proud both of the others and over myself 😊
Thus, the season was another rollercoaster, but at the same time a huge redemption and joy at having finally reached my goal – 3rd Kyu.
I hope you, through my travels and history, take with you; that you can do more than you and others tell you, that the future is created by your actions and the choices you make, that it helps to have respect for others and their skills, that it is important to take responsibility for yourself and others, that through your journey you will get to know yourself, that there is room for everyone and we believe in you, but you must also believe in yourself, that striving for perfection, high self-esteem and high self-confidence will create a better you and that it is never too late to make an effort.
Regardless of the course of your journey, you bear the responsibility yourself. But remember there is always someone ready who believes in you and will help you achieve your full potential - Use Yakami as a tool in your life.
