It was Thursday 8 May 2008 and it was fantastic sunny weather which formed the starting point for my training camp no. 29.
I drove off to pick up Kimu Sensei at 13.00 and as usual was greeted with smiles and kindness and Kimu Sensei said: "Today it is 2 days since I came home from Thailand and I have full jet lag, but I have been looking forward to training you.
It had not been possible to come to Malmö, so this time the training camp had to take place in South Zealand at Nykøbing Falster and this was a new area with different facilities that had to be tested.
As we drove away we talked about upcoming Shindenkan activities, the activity plan for the next two years and the new Yakami Shinsei-ryu Karate-do curriculum that Kimu Sensei told me is almost finished.
When we arrived at our destination, which was a former course boarding school, we discovered that the place had both beautiful nature, a well-established fitness area, a dojo and a medieval town!. Hm.. well – the place was extremely suitable for the purpose.
After all, food is always an important thing at our training camp and it hadn't been 5 minutes before Kimu Sensei said: "I'm extremely hungry, have you eaten lunch?".
After lunch we went for a walk in the beautiful surrounding nature while talking about the last training camp. Kimu Sensei explained Densho degrees to me and told me: "Menkyo consists of three steps, Menkyo omote, Menkyo and Menkyo hiden. Where Menkyo omote means that you have entered through the gate with the first step, where you have to relive yourself as a whole person, and "where past and present exist". Menkyo means fully inside and that you know yourself fully, "where present and future exist and everything from the past is internalized". Menkyo hiden means that you have now relived yourself, internalized the degree and it has become a part of you and you are ready to relive other people! - in short, you are now ready to apply for the next degree - Kaiden".
As taught by previous training camps, I didn't ask what we were going to train for, but tried to wait patiently, which is not my strong point, and suddenly Kimu Sensei exclaimed: “Well, time is running out. Changed in 3 minutes”.
Welcome to the hive
The first training session was a one-hour meditation where I felt like a bee flying around to find the entrance to its nest but can't really find home. That is a bit confusing, to say the least! When we finished I was asked how it had been.
a I had told about my experience, Kimu Sensei said: “Why spend time on a lot of irrelevant things? All you have to do is decide who you are, ground yourself and get focused”.
After a short pause, Kimu Sensei said. "Aren't you motivated?". This was of course provocative, but also with a point - if I am not open and ready to take in the things that are shown to me, the training camp has no purpose - So it is now!
The physical training took place on the treadmill and Kimu Sensei said you know the procedure, you change every minute on my command and I control time, elevation and speed. The difference from the last time was that the intensity was controlled according to my heart rate, so we rode with different inclines and speeds until my heart rate was almost up to max. Along the way, I received continuous feedback about my posture and my focus.
After a pause, Kimu Sensei said to me again. "You're still confused - Are you not motivated?". This was of course again a provocation, but also with feedback to step up a gear!
Actually, it was a bit strange because I didn't really feel like Kimu Sensei was pushing me as much as he usually does. Well, there was no need to spend time thinking about it, because it would probably come when I least expected it...
The next day, after breakfast, the training started with me being faced with the following task:
- From training camp No. 27, No. 28 and now to No. 29, what changes, if any, have occurred in your external and internal leadership?
- Set up at least 5 areas in which you must assess yourself - the 5 most important and significant areas.
- You don't know how much time you have, but you have to keep going until I stop you!
After approx. 1.5 hours of meditation and writing down the status, there was a knock on the door and when I opened it, Kimu Sensei stepped in and said: "You're only scratching the surface, huh? "and I had to admit that. I briefly reviewed my status on the assignment, where the most significant change was that I had become more honest with myself!
Kimu Sensei ironically told me that being honest with yourself was something, it could end up with you actually getting to know yourself! We laughed a little at that, after which Kimu Sensei said that he was hungry and that it must be time for lunch.
Revisiting lost horizons
After lunch, I was again faced with the task of assessing the changes in external and internal leadership of a number of people who constitute a significant relationship in my life. The relationships and their significance had to be assessed according to exactly the same significant areas that I had used around myself.
In this training pass I could feel that it was possible for me to go through the surface in almost all areas of the task and if it became confused I could remove the resistance and maintain the work area.
It was a very powerful training pass and I will not bore anyone with details about the depth or lack thereof in my humble interior, but simply note that an old friend called "honesty to oneself" had appeared and made it possible for me revisiting lost horizons, with parts of myself that have been displaced from my field of vision for the past 6 years and I felt like I could go on and on!
After meditating and writing down the status, there was a knock on the door and when I opened it I was immediately photographed by a smiling Kimu Sensei – which was a little bit surprising because I was probably a little used. It was perhaps not so strange because the training session had lasted about 5.5 hours!
When Kimu Sensei entered, he said ironically to me: "It has been an overwhelming experience for you, and that is normal when you are honest with yourself". Again we had to laugh a bit about it because I had to admit that he was right!.
Kimu Sensei looked very fresh after two hours of meditation and a three-hour hard training session in Hassei Yakami-ryu Karate-do's many kata, and smiled constantly when I briefly reviewed my status on the task, where there had been several important considerations such as I could point directly to patterns in my way of functioning. Kimu Sensei asked me how it felt to be allowed to manage myself and I must have looked at him wide-eyed, because he screamed with laughter when I told him that I usually don't manage anything at our training camps.
But precisely here there was also a point because I had relinquished control, something I am otherwise not much for and that was precisely what had contributed to the fact that it was possible at all.
After dinner, I could feel that I was spent and approx. at At 22, Kimu Sensei kindly told me that now he would go to bed. But before he left, he just wanted to note that there was one of my work areas that hadn't gone so well - which he had also expected!
Hm... I thought and Kimu Sensei continued: "It's a training camp and we start again at 8.00 tomorrow. How you use the time between now and then is up to you. But if I may suggest something, I think you should spend some time on the unresolved work area”! And then he said good night and left.
Resistance or exhaustion
When Kimu Sensei had left he looked at the clock and saw that at was 22.20 and I thought: "Ok, at least I'm not going to give up". So I took some spring water in a bottle and got down to business.
Whether it was internal resistance or exhaustion that decided it, I don't know, but it is quite clear that my internal resistance was great enough to make me totally exhausted! When it was 01.20 I had to face the fact that there would be no breakthrough so determined not to give up I made a new plan and I decided to sleep until 06.00, get up and then take another 1.5 hours before breakfast.
When the alarm clock rang at At 6.00 I got up determined to resume the process and I did so until breakfast.
When I met Kimu Sensei, he said to me with a big broad smile: "I slept well last night - did you also go to bed early?". Not! - it didn't and then I told him about my late and early challenges.
After breakfast, the task was to pick up the ball where I had dropped it, but I was asked to expand the assessment area according to the values that I prioritize the most - because they had changed during the process, as Kimu Sensei knew very well they would.
After approx. 1.5 hours of meditation and writing down the status, there was a knock on the door and when I opened it, Kimu Sensei stepped in and said: "Five minutes to change clothes, we have to go down to the dojo". While I was changing, I went through the results of the training session and clearly had to admit to myself that this was a cover they had to lift off - the sooner the better. Change – yes I had become more honest with myself!.
All people are more or less honest with themselves – but being 100 % honest with yourself is very very difficult!.
We completed a short physical training and while we stretched, Kimu Sensei rounded off the training with the following words: "You have worked well at this training camp, especially yesterday where you have rediscovered things about yourself that you have repressed, but remember this is an ongoing process where it is up to you to rediscover the last 20 % of yourself”!
After taking a quick shower, Kimu Sensei had planned for us to visit the medieval town to study ancient weapons and fighting techniques from the Middle Ages. Here we had the opportunity to both watch and participate in shooting bliders, as well as see and study a reconstruction of a knight tournament with 5 disciplines, which was both exciting and fun.
Here at the time of writing approx. 24 hours after this training camp I am still very tired and very happy that there is another holiday day tomorrow…