By Søren Sjøstrøm Hansen, Member until 2013

After the summer of 2008, the teaching in Jokokan Ballerup began to point towards the graduation to the 3rd kyu degree (brown belt) in Yakami Shinsei-ryu. Elements of the stop tests were incorporated into the teaching, including running through bronze circles and hitting cushions. The blue belts in the club were very aware of the content of the physical requirements for 3 kyu, having experienced the graduation in June and since then having spoken to two of our training partners and comrades, Bertrand and Elisabet, who at the summer tenant just passed the graduation to it brown belt – a very interesting experience from the sidelines.

The graduation session for the 3rd kyu degree in Yakami Shinsei-ryu consists of five stop tests. Approx. 14 days before graduation, you have to do a physical stop test where your physical strength and fitness are tested (3 x Bronze circle and subsequent Cuba test - 12 minute run on a treadmill) - of course within a certain allotted time. The next tests were carried out on the Friday before Sunday's spring camp and consisted of a syllabus stop test, a definition test and a free combat test based on the "task fight" courses. And if all of the above are passed, you must prove your final worth in connection with the competition test itself and the final graduation.

The physical training was therefore a matter of course for me and when a running team started at the same time in connection with my workplace, I slowly started to "go to training". Over the autumn, it became a couple of runs a week, either outdoors or on a treadmill right up to the autumn holidays. The next few months, however, the training was throttled down a bit, as my then training partner got pain in the lower back and had to stop the training. When our head of school, Jens Kyoshi, at the end of November opened up a possible option for graduation in connection with the spring rent in March 2009, the training was ramped up again. It turned into a run, 1-2 circles and some extra curriculum training per week. Initially alone, but later together with the other potential "graduates" from Ballerup. We met approx. every other Friday at my workplace where there are good conditions for training. For these sessions, we typically did 3 bronze circles, a Cuba test and subsequent curriculum training.

For me, the camaraderie and the joint training sessions were very motivating. As we all have our strengths and weaknesses in relation to physical exercise and the curriculum, it was incredibly inspiring and educational to train together. In addition, we also gained a closer personal relationship with each other, which we may not always be able to build up in the dojo in connection with the weekly training, as a result of the advanced time of the evening and our commitment to our families. But at this point I would like to thank both Margit, Jonas, Henrik B, Jan and Andy for the enjoyable sessions and the great support throughout the process.

As I said, we tried to polish things off during these sessions and already at this point the psychological started to come into play. The physical test was fully measurable (as a Key Performance Indicator) and it was quite simple to check IF you could keep it within the time requirement. On the other hand, it was clear that the syllabus test, the definition test and the final graduation would be where the challenge had to be put to the test. After all, we had heard a little from Bertrand and Elisabet about Kimu Sensei's staging of the test, the continuous pressure and the purpose of putting us under pressure. But somewhere it was probably in the back of my mind at least. 5 years of training would provide the necessary ballast. If you look soberly at the syllabus from 10.-3. kyu, then the amount of material is manageable and can be completed in a few hours during intensive self-training. Furthermore, there was a certain presumption that the syllabus test might be similar to previous graduations. But that turned out not to be the case.

A little over a month before the actual graduation ceremony, Jens Kyoshi started to "kick a little more" for the blue belts. After normal training time, we were exposed to a "taste test" of what the curriculum and definition graduation was all about. We were warned that mental pressure would be put on us, that we would find the form unreasonable at times, that we would be stopped in the middle of doing the exercises, and that we would have to think outside the box (whatever that meant?) . And after a few times in the dojo like this, enough was enough…..…for Jens Kyoshi. We were generally not sharp enough. On the Wednesday before the physical test was to be carried out the following Saturday, each had a talk with Jens Kyoshi about the setting - a form of self-evaluation and assessment of the possibilities of completing the graduation. This was an intense experience, as it was the first time I received such honest and in-depth feedback about my areas of development. So even though I got the recommendation from Jens Kyoshi, there were a number of things that had to be worked on before Saturday's physical test. And I recognized that some intensive curriculum training would be in order over the next few weeks.

The Saturday when the physical test went off the rails was a really good experience. There was a good mood from the start, a pleasant camaraderie - and not least Jens Kyoshi and Søren Renshi-dai's demanding but calm management of the events. I completed the bronze circle in 8 min. 16 seconds and subsequently ran 2,710 m (13.6 km/h) in 12 minutes.

The next two weeks were spent with an increased training program with special focus on the syllabus and the definitions. And despite Jens Kyoshi's "warnings" about the graduation form, the nerves started to get in the way even before we started the graduation itself. The curriculum test began and under Kimu Sensei's instruction, tai-sabakis, shihos and katas were done in one jumble over the course of an hour – all exercises we have done many, many, many times before, but as in another "contexts" at times seemed very challenging and difficult. The exercises were put together in unconventional ways, where we were asked to transition from different Kata all the while we had to decide on our own abilities, if we were tired and wanted to give up - but even giving up in Shindenkan is unthinkable……. .It must be emphasized at this point that my intention was to give it everything I had. I had to give my all - give everything I had in me throughout the session.

I had told myself in advance that I would not allow myself to be provoked by Kimu Sensei, that under no circumstances would I allow myself to be influenced by the mistakes I would involuntarily make and that I would maintain a good mood throughout the session. But I became wiser. The 4 graduates were started with Kata Ten-i but before long we were stopped by Kimu Sensei. There was generally something wrong with our positions, our techniques lacked an addressee and we had to show that we were focused. And for some inexplicable reason, the whole thing was turned upside down at this point. I made one of the big mistakes (which makes me very sad). On the fly, a couple of times I didn't hear clearly which kata was to be performed and started with the wrong one. It completely knocked me out and that one time I simply stopped, bowed to Kimu Sensei and started over. And during the graduation there were many more challenges in the form of new complex techniques as well as combinations of kata, "unpracticed" alternative shios and unsokus. To this day I ask myself why I didn't ask Kimu Sensei to repeat the exercise – when I was in doubt………

After the syllabus test, a definition test - read "a question round in theory" about Shindenkan, structures and content in the syllabus including Japanese names for the various techniques - was carried out. I had practiced a lot on names and terms, and thought I knew a good deal. But found out that all concepts and expressions reviewed in both the training and courses were too much.

And Friday's session ended with a free fight test with teeth and crotch protectors, based on the "task fight" courses. It was a very concentrated session of approx. ½ hour duration which marked the end of the day's stop tests.

Afterwards we were allowed to have a little drink, warm up and wait for the voting which took place with Kimu Sensei, Jens Kyoshi, Keld Renshi-dai, Brian Renshi-dai and Martin Renshi-dai (the latter 4 had watched the entire session from the sidelines and would contribute with assessments about today's effort in the voting, and get Kimu Sensei's feedback on their assessments in their own continuing instructor training). The time felt long before we were lined up again and individually got our feedback - short, precise and without too many frills. For my own part, I remember Kimu Sensei's conclusions best: "You must work on your foot positions - you must be able to see a difference in the foot positions, you must not let yourself get upset and show irritation over mistakes in the execution of the exercises and complete the technique, make sure you stay focused throughout the session even if you are under pressure. On the positive side (and what I clearly need to build on), the feedback was that even though I fell into the hole a couple of times by showing irritation at the lack of completion of the exercises, "I quickly got back on the horse again", despite pressured by Kimu Sensei, ingenuity was shown in the end of a Shoho gosen-geri, which again showed a little excess, after all (this was "shown out of the box" contribution from my side) and even though I was pressured in a free fight, I quickly took by learning from the opponent and had to adjust my defense so that I was not hit. The conclusion and verdict was that I had passed today's tests and would move on. I was happy but very tired when I left the dojo.

That same evening, I made an evaluation of the day's progress. I was convinced that my performance was affected by the fact that I was moving into something unknown, a new set-up and being put under pressure by Kimu Sensei himself. But the learning points are:

• Choose a location in the first row so that the influence from the others is minimized.
• Stay focused on what needs to be done - and believe in it - all the time.
• Shut everything else out.
• Take your time with the exercises - avoid being paced by the others.
• Know your fabric – front and back.
• If you are not sure what is being said, ask - but remember to mark.
• In the definition test, you must stick to - but remember to mark when you know the answer.

Sunday's spring camp featured the final tests. But according to tradition, you are on from start to finish and it was no different this time. The camp consisted of 3 hours of continuous training including fall techniques and practicing all katas at a very high pace. We all thought we would then have a short break to recharge – as was the case at the last 3rd kyu graduation. But oh no. We were called to the floor right from the start, for katas and kumites. And then Kimu Sensei announced that we were to hit cushions - hit everything we could until we were told to stop. So it was straight on and hard! The next 10 minutes (though it felt much longer) was a matter of survival. We had 3 rounds of hitting, kicking and hitting/kicking respectively.

The first round was intensive and I put all my efforts into moving the blue cushion in front of me, but it was well anchored in Søren Renshi-dai. Either way, the pillow didn't seem to move very far back. I can only remember that Søren's encouragement gave a little more profit in the middle of an otherwise unsightly and tiring melee. The next round was with kicks and the pad moved slightly backwards until the legs became heavy. No matter what I did, it felt like I couldn't get air between my legs and the pad to do circle and side kicks. Then the "hisa-geri" or knee kicks were introduced which felt like a good weapon. I gave myself 100 % encouraged by Søren Renshi-dai's friendly provocations and the applause of the spectators.

The third round of kicks and punches began and at this point I realized how much the first two rounds had worn me out. But there was no time to think "and the show must go on" I remember very clearly Søren Renshi-dai's call to not give up, to keep going, don't look at the others and sometimes also that I don't had to push him. I remember that in a desperate attempt to gain distance, I did a very alternative push with my back (I will probably hear that for a long time to come, because it is not described in the syllabus). I also remember that I got more strength from shouting back to Søren "that I wouldn't give up". And when at one point or another it was said to stop, I had to lie down briefly to catch my breath again - it's a good thing to remember to breathe all the time.

It was completely sold out during the subsequent warm-up and the waiting time seemed long before the result of the graduation was announced. It was actually a big moment when I, along with the other graduates, were called to the podium and Kimu Sensei read out the results.

The start and implementation of the graduation to 3rd kyu has been a good, educational and inspiring experience. It has strengthened the belief that the last 5 years of training have borne fruit, limits have been tested and there is a basis for exploring new horizons in the future. I have learned a lot about myself in the past time and have promised myself that I will use that knowledge to get better. Focus for me is the code word for future training.

The last learning points that I can use with advantage in the future are:

• § Use each other for training and immersion, not just up to a graduation.
• § Intensify the training and make it targeted - use the experience you can get from your clubmates - then finally ask.
• § Carry out extra training where the "atmosphere" and form from the graduation situation are practiced (physical test, hitting cushions, syllabus test, definition test and freestyle exercises).
• § Practiced camaraderie can give increased self-confidence.
• § And use every opportunity to celebrate even small successes.

A final thank you to Kimu Sensei and Jens Kyoshi for their great effort in running the club and the faith in us all, And thanks to Søren Renshi-dai for the great support I received during the pillow fight. And the audience must know that applause and advice are an important and invaluable motivator for the graduates.