By Elisabet H. Bjarkmann, Shishó, 1st Dan Yakami Shinsei-ryu, 2nd Dan Kodosoku-kai Gensei-ryu

Introduction

Now I have become a black belt. That has always been the goal and expectation among everyone. I am often told that I am good at the Local Club. There I am also one of the best and there I have a good amount of confidence when I train, but when you go from being one of the best in the local club to having to train at a high international elite level, then suddenly you go from being one of the absolute best to being the absolute worst.

From local club level - international elite level

The first time I had to step into the dojo to train with the other black belts, I was very nervous. My legs were shaking and I could hardly tell the difference between up and down. During the day, I had been delusional about how the training would go. I imagined everything from Kimu Sensei asking us to do eji-dachi throughout the training to asking us to do full contact MMA freestyle with knockout and no rules, but I got a whole other surprise. The training proceeded quietly, but with a very high intensity that I have never tried to train with. Although the techniques were simple and looked easy, they were much more difficult than expected.

I also quickly learned that all the small details I have "skipped over" for training play a significant role in that training. I also learned that the small details can often be the essence of what we do for black belt training. So it is therefore important to be concentrated and do exactly what is said - because what you skip in the training, you get right back in your head and you can start all over again. I had expected that I would be the worst of them all - but not the supremely and absolutely wretched. I was really many levels down compared to all the other black belts. It felt like I was one huge failure, and it was no secret that after the first training sessions, I was on the verge of tears. It was a huge upheaval for me, because there is a long way from and to local club level to international elite level.

The second time had to train with the black belts, it didn't go much better. Kimu Sensei had planned kumite in training. I faced the other black belts who have about 15 to 30 years of experience, where I only have about 8. At that cost and because I have a little bit jumped over "where the fence is lowest" in terms of kumite and basic, I broke one of my toes, but then I also learned that small details mean a lot. Besides that, I also think it was strange to be facing some people I've known all my life. I could tell by them that they were very exemplary and nice to me because I was new - but despite that, I was still under a lot of pressure over the 100 %.

Something I also tried (and which I was about to pee my pants over J on top of that) was when we had to do happo (Kumite match against 4+ opposing sanders, where full force is attacked from all sides). Of course it was me in the end and after seeing the others in action, I was a bit nervous. After all, it went… well, not so well, but I didn't expect it to go well either. J

The routines are also slightly different on the black belt team. We get lessons for that. We don't do that for local training. Then it is important to practice extremely much, because the person who has not trained enough and does not know his stuff sets the standard. When you have these lessons for you, it's about researching everything you can find about the task and digging deeper, but even if you think you're prepared, you never know what Kimu Sensei might come up with to ask (you also find quickly realized that the research was not thorough enough).

Now I'm starting to get a little more into the routine, but I still have to get used to it all. In any case, it has been a big upheaval for me, but even though I am at the bottom, off the bottom, right now, I know that I will probably have to fight my way up, even if it will probably take years. Right now I just appreciate that I can train with such incredibly talented and competent people that I get to train with now. I can only get better from that – and much faster!.

Elisabeth