By Elisabet H. Bjarkmann, Shishó, 1st Dan Yakami Shinsei-ryu, 2nd Dan Kodosoku-kai Gensei-ryu

Introduction

The few minutes before you have to go on the floor and show what you can do, you have to do some things with yourself. Because when you're standing there, out on the floor, confused, while self-pity runs through your head and your muscles are tired and well-worn, you're not ready if you let it take over. Unaware of the challenges that lie in the way, just waiting silently and completely by surprise, ready to block you from the goal. Therefore, you must make it clear to yourself that this is what you want, it is now and here and that it is never too late to show your worth. Even if the hand on the clock goes slowly, you have to give EVERYTHING you have in you. Because if you are not targeted, prepared and don't want it enough, then you will not pass.

The stop tests

Actually, I don't think that the physicality of the stop tests is the biggest challenge during a stop test. The hardest part is the mental part. Because when Kimu Sensei is standing and telling you what to do, and your head is banging on full curtains to remember it all, at the same time as Kimu Sensei is standing and trying to get you to go completely on your own with his all his remarks occasionally and at the same time you yourself, purely mentally, look down on yourself and have an enormous amount of self-pity that you are tired, that everyone is so mean to you and that you probably won't pass because you made a mistake in this and that kata, walking base or shiho, then it will be very hard at first. It takes a lot to overcome that, because if you jump on the self-pity bandwagon, Kimu Sensei's remarks or the jante law, things can go really wrong. So that's why, instead of going down completely mentally, I say/said to myself that NOW is the time to show what I can do, especially if I make a mistake or two, because I don't want the instructors or Sensei thinks I can't, when I know I can. That way I give myself 110%, as I just give myself an extra tooth.

So a good piece of advice I got from Jens Kyoshi was, if you have the opportunity to come half an hour early and sit down in seiza, breathe in and out through your stomach and prepare these things mentally, you should do it.

It is of course also clear that the physical part of the entire process for all stop tests also leaves its mark, but by passing the physical test, you have thereby also proven to yourself and to the instructors and not least to Sensei that you can cope well with the physical challenges that lie on the way up to a new belt color or a white line on the belt. I myself think that time almost stands still when you give your best. That the second hand on the big clock goes in slow motion, while you yourself are a small, very fast soundtrack that is played over and over again at full blast - without breaks. Here you just have to think: "The day has an end at some point, so it must end at some point". If you start to stress because you have promised to walk the dog, or you don't make it home for X-factor, then it is very difficult to focus 100% on techniques and theory.

Role models - what are they and who are they?

One thing that I have also gained a lot from the whole process is what it means to be and be considered a role model. Because before and still a little now, I have often questioned what it actually entailed/carried and meant/means to be a role model. Because the fact that people look up to you so much is fascinating, but at the same time also hard, as you have to live up to everyone's expectations. It is a heavy, but also lovely burden to bear, as it is wonderful that people think; "I can and will reach as far as her", "I want to be like that too", "how cool he is" and "when I grow up I want to be just like them". Therefore, I have learned that it is important that you, as a role model, follow the motto: "We do as we say and say as we do". Because when you rise to the levels we are, you are a role model that people look up to, and at the slightest mistake you can lose their trust, so therefore I have learned that of course you cannot live up to everyone's expectations, but as a role model, you have to do your utmost to be a role model for others for the skill as a dojo skill. So after this graduation, the bottle with the label; Role model, filled in more regarding my understanding of it.

"A battle does not end until you are unable to fight or are dead"

This motto was considered during the curriculum test and has been considered before. One of the blue belts, in the middle of the syllabus test, gave us all a shock because one of the person's eyebrows was split. However, because it was in the dojo it was controlled and not uncontrolled like it would be on a battlefield or in an alley in Langbortisan. All the rest of us were of course startled and very intimidated by it, and could foresee and understand that the person was not able to fight, but we were wrong. The fight continued in Task Fighting, where there was 100% contact, I myself fought against the person. That experience was very thought-provoking and gave me a new lesson: "A battle does not end until you are unable to fight or are dead". I considered this to be a role model for myself, as I myself do not know how I would react in such a given situation. I would call that being a role model. I can also hope that I have my own attitude completely solid if I ever find myself in a similar situation outside, as inside the dojo.

Elisabeth