By Jokokan Honbu
Self-pity comes from feeling forced into a situation, and at some point sooner or later you are aware that you will have to make some choices in order to move forward one way or another. These choices often feel uncomfortable as they symbolize a lot of things. This can be the fear of the unknown, the fear of making wrong choices, the fear of the past, present or future, or choices that have been exposed for a long time and thus the snowball has turned into a giant snowball.
Self-pity harbors many people, both the coward, the chameleon and the master, who feel badly pressed before the final inner clean-ups. Depending on the degree of self-pity in the individual person, this person will always make more or less difficult choices according to what is easiest for themselves. At the same time, they want to express to the outside, and also to themselves, that they have made the best choice, or at least the second best, - because tomorrow is a better day to make the right and lasting choice... Just not today, because then they have more important things to do.
The self-pity also contains opportunities for fault-finding and attribution of sinister motives to often innocent people, where mistakes or evil intentions are attributed to these people. And if they don't have someone, that shouldn't stop the self-pity. But when the truth really has to come out, this mistake is an expression of jealousy, inner pain and dissatisfaction, a rootlessness and an escape from making the lasting choices that you don't dare to make and postpone endlessly, or say you don't know, or. . and much more.
But in the end, it is an inner and outer expression of being allowed to "live in peace" together with self-pity, and life's lies and deceptions, - both own and shared.
The self-pity most often means that different roles are played during different activities. Be it work, among friends and acquaintances, everyday things and at home. This is because when two or more sufferers of self-pity come together, this is recognized through oneself and through each other. As I said, self-pity is good at protecting itself, and therefore it has assumed a role to protect itself. This is because the self-pity always feels misunderstood, has a feeling of lack of appreciation and "always has it much harder than everyone else".
This means that self-pity often endlessly seeks to correct "this injustice" by seeking recognition in one way or another. Be it through "martyrdom" to coercion through limitless exercise of power.
The "self-pity hole" is thereby temporarily satisfied, but must be constantly fed to keep the "uncontrollable and indefinable hunger" down.
Two classic roles that are always played are when the man and the woman are sick. The man is strong, brave and brave in everyday life, and often becomes the opposite when he is ill. The woman is feminine, slightly confused and helpless, and efficient on a daily basis, - and often still is when she is ill, apart from the slightly confused and helpless. There are often no limits to what she can achieve!. Both at home and in blaming the man that she can't even afford to lie sick, but still has to arrange all the daily things for UG – which she usually arranges for MG when she is well.
Self-pity often kicks in when you need it. If there are no difficult choices to make and one sits on the green branch of life, one recognizes it in everyone else with compassion and pity on the outside, and deep contempt, triumph and indifference on the inside. Often the self-pity seeks to avoid these self-pitying people, or you try to help these people on "one's own terms", most often in the expectation of a reward, and one later for "reciprocated favors". It could also be that you actually want to feel on top when you help this needy and poor person - although of course you actually have better and more important things to take care of.
This must of course be understood as "one's own interests". Although of course this is called priorities in the true spirit of self-pity.
When self-pity reaches the next cycle, when autumn and winter have turned the green branch of life into a bare and vulnerable branch, the opposite feelings emerge. You have suddenly become the little one - which of course you do not officially express. Often men become more insistent towards the environment, and try to show that he "has control over his own life", by an often assertive and assertive behaviour. Women often dig themselves a deep hole and jump into it in order to be afraid that life is so unfair to you, or dream away from it all. Many people combine these many options. The variations are as countless as man's creative imagination.
In higher martial arts, self-pity must not be suppressed, but understood, acknowledged and integrated. Once it has become one with you, it no longer exists.
These two lines contain both an external and an internal interpretation if they stand alone. Try and read them separately sometime. Most people will interpret these words according to the Outer interpretation (Omote), and not according to the inner interpretation (Ura) which lay behind the words.
This is completely normal for a completely normal person in a completely normal world. So this is also a completely normal article about something completely normal for all people in a completely normal world. There's just one problem - why doesn't this sound or feel right..?
All change begins with yourself – it is your choice and responsibility in life.
