When I first saw the invitation to POMW! my first concern was how to get the money. But I got to talk to Søren Renshi and of course I had to go. We talked back and forth about what the expectations were for the course and how it was structured together with Hsing'i. My expectations were high and I couldn't wait for the first course to start.
The course started out like any other, good atmosphere, people happy to see each other. As always, we went and poked each other, everything was as it used to be.
Then the course started, and although I had personally imagined that the course would be about weapons and handling them, the course initially took a slightly different turn. As is so often the case, you are surprised at these courses and we ended up with some very deep questions. This resulted, for me, in a very large knot gathering in the stomach. The questions were very confrontational with our own ego. I spoke to several people after the course and they agreed with me that it had been somewhat uncomfortable.
After the somewhat "gloomy" start with the self-insight, we continued with the weapons course. The next step was the development of weapons over the century and how inner clarification and attitude are connected with where one's level of competence lies as a "warrior". We all very quickly agreed that the more advanced our technology has become over time, the lower the level of competence to be able to operate a weapon has become. The relaxed atmosphere had returned and the course continued with weapon history, development, precision and the like.
In closing, we heard about Kimu Sensei's learned skills with firearms. What he had managed to achieve in a relatively short time and the experiences he had brought with him. As something of the latter, he also told what expectations he had of the chief instructors.
By the time we finished, I had an incredibly hard time keeping track of my thoughts. I thought about all the topics that had been touched on in the 3 hours and could hardly make sense of it all. One of the things that had really captured me was when Kimu Sensei had asked us, "why do you go to karate?".
It has dawned on me that lately, I haven't seen this sport as a way to learn self-defense. I have seen it far more as an opportunity for personal development. That was also my answer, as a pure reflex, I blurted it out, "to be able to develop as a person, get tools to use in everyday life..."
I've been thinking a lot about exactly that question. Even with all our weapons, techniques and yelling over the floor, I don't see that as the most essential thing in this sport. For me, the most important and most interesting thing is the tools that Shindenkan can provide to develop as a person and that you can use in your everyday life.
I don't think I ever imagined that during a lecture, I would end up sitting with a knot in my stomach for 2/3 of the time. But that was the case with POMW! and even though it was borderline-crossing, I am extremely happy to have been there. However, I'm still a bit amazed at how much we got to talk about our egos. Both in relation to how far one would go to save one's own life or simply that one would nurture one's ego with a military degree. It was both terrifying in a way, but at the same time an experience that I would not have been without. I can't wait to come back with parts 2 and 3.
