My path to the brown belt started in earnest in November 2009, as I was set to graduate for the spring camp, and shortly before that I had attended a competency course, where we had been made aware of how much time in advance we had to see on how we could best prepare six months before, so I got busy.

The motivation to start running wasn't overwhelming, but there was no way around it. I used to train for running, but had stopped approx. 3 years ago, which I learned was really stupid. It was harder than I expected, but luckily I got help from my husband, who volunteered as a running partner, which I happily agreed to. Unfortunately he ran away from me…. And when I sometimes got a little too complacent, I was made aware of that fuse trot, I was something I would call running. The weather was against us as well as others this winter, and it turned into some strange racing. We therefore agreed to join the gym, which was fortunate as I had to get used to running on a treadmill to a large extent.

As the time approached spring camp, I had to admit that I didn't have the energy needed, even though I knew from the treadmill that I could run what I needed to. External circumstances that turned into internal circumstances meant that I could feel that my concentration did not have the form it needed. It was a difficult choice for me to say no, and I resented it a lot, on the other hand, I didn't want to stand up, knowing that I couldn't do what I had to. It was therefore at the summer camp that I applied for graduation.

On the Saturday before the summer camp, I and my 4 colleagues, who were also scheduled for a physical test, had to do 3 bronze circles and Cooper's test. I didn't worry too much about the physical test, as I had been running diligently every week, several times a week, and I had managed the 3 circles and ran my distance the week before with a colleague without any problems, that is to say, clear got sweat on my forehead, but I knew I could. However, it was different when the actual day came for the physical test, which is a little nerve wracking, perhaps because you know it is NOW.

Friday was fast approaching, the day I had been looking forward to and at the same time dreading, as I had listened with wide ears to my fellow colleagues' experiences of having to go through technical and theoretical syllabus tests as well as task fighting, and it sounded like an almost insurmountable task, and as one of the very coolest. It was therefore with a trembling heart that I showed up, but determined to show that I could and that I wanted to. I had prepared thoroughly. A normal week leading up to the 5 stop test would consist of karate training on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Run Tuesday and Thursday. Reading the syllabus at the weekend, and in the weeks leading up to the graduation training at home on Saturday or Sunday. I therefore knew mentally that I had prepared and also that we would be challenged no matter how well I think I had prepared, and it did not fail.

We turned up for self-warming at 3.30pm, and the graduation session started at 16. We were set in motion, but shortly afterwards we were stopped, Kimu Sensei was not satisfied, so we were ordered to the floor for 30 push-ups, and when we got up after doing these we were ordered down and do 20 more and then 20 more – the stage was set. We were run through various shihos and katas (with interruptions and orders to change to another shiho or kata, preferably as we were in progress), followed by high-intensity kumite. Something happens when you get into such a high gear and such high concentration and focus, at least I got to the point where I found an extra gear, and it was ok to be there - to my own surprise. After enough time in this, it was time for the theoretical test, and we were quizzed on the theoretical part, and although I had prepared thoroughly and had the experience of knowing the syllabus book by heart, it was also a challenge.

After that came the battle test, starting with taskfighting 1, 2 and it quickly turned into changing partners, and it was a blast. It was everyone's fight against everyone, and themselves, and I got some gut punches of the hard kind, but I also found out, when at one point I found myself bent over and called upon by Jens Kyoshi to move on, that I could actually correct myself and move on. I got tired, very tired actually, it's hard to be in that zone and there's no such thing as giving up, there's only one way and that's forward. In the end, the batteries were as flat as they could possibly be, and it was therefore a great support when they shouted – stay focused, stay focused….

But this also came to an end, and Kimu Sensei, together with Jens Kyoshi, Martin Renshi-dai, Kjeld Renshi-dai and Søren Renshi went aside, while we were allowed to take a sip of water - and wait for the final decision.

When they came back we were asked to line up and asked if we wanted to receive the assessment individually or in front of the whole group, everyone agreed that it was ok that we took it together. It is very special to stand there waiting, to know that you want it and that you have done what you could in the situation, but at the same time also that nothing is taken for granted yet. We first got a general report that we had all passed the theoretical part, and it was a relief to know that we didn't have to go home and study all night. Subsequently, the individual assessment was given. All 5 of us had passed stop tests 2, 3 and 4. It was a tired and happy 5-clover who had a good hug before heading home to prepare for the big day the following day.

The graduation and summer camp started with check-in at 13, and I initially thought that was lucky for me, as I thought I was sure that I could get a good night's sleep and wake up fresh and well-rested, but unfortunately not, I had a restless night and was quite exhausted on Saturday, when I got up at 6, as I didn't want to try to sleep anymore. It was a good and educational summer camp, especially the part with bunkai for pinan 1, was very educational, it was difficult, but when it started to dawn on me, pinan 1 gave me a different meaning than it had before. Which especially dawned on me during the graduation part of performing kata, when I had the experience of having an elastic band on my body that I could pull in and out of pinan 1, a super experience. And I also found that even though I had felt exhausted when the camp started, there was an extra gear.

Like all other graduation camps, this camp also ended with the breath test, for us (former) blue belts, which requires you to muster up the last bit of energy, especially the first part was a challenge for me, until I got a little better at breathing all the way through. The ultimate experience is to experience the support you get, you really get an experience that all those around you just want it, just as much as you do. It is an indescribable experience, although it is mostly heard at the beginning, then the sound disappears, and there is only the pillow and you, although from time to time you hear the encouraging shouts again, but it is clearly a battle between yourself and the pillow .

And again we stood there waiting for the decision – excited and hopeful – and tired. To my great joy and that of my fellow colleagues, we all graduated 5. When I stood there, I thought, I have given everything I could, regardless of the outcome, then I know that I have given everything I could and came out in extra gear, and found out further, it is a very great satisfaction to know, but even greater when it is rewarded with a graduation to the 3rd kyu.

Many thanks to everyone who has been around with fantastic support. The support I have received during this process has been a very special experience, and I am very grateful.