By now, most people know what is required and not least provided in order to be allowed to wear the brown belt.

• You must have your lessons at your local Dojo
• You must have at least 80 % of your compulsory curriculum lessons in Honbu-dojo
• You must have taken your competency graduations with max. a waiver or deliberate opt-out.
• You must show initiative and willingness to be appointed
• You must be nominated by your local head instructor
• You must be nominated by your Honbu instructor
• One must be approved by Kimu Sensei.

Then comes the famous 5 stop test.

1. The physical test, which is held approx. 1 week before the actual graduation
2. Syllabus test, which is held the day before graduation itself
3. Ryugi (theory) test, which is held the day before the actual graduation
4. Kumite, Task fighting 1+2+ a little more, which is held the day before the actual graduation
5. Endurance and maddened struggle against pillow and pillow holder, a punctuation mark for the graduation process itself, which is carried out on the day itself, at an associated event, with an always packed and engaged audience.

My preparation for the brown belt has been from when I got my first syllabus in hand, approx. 1 month after I started. There were many challenges, Mae-taido, Sokuten mae and ushiro, misc. the kite from squatting to standing. There was Mawashi-geri, Mawashi chi-geri and Ushiro Mawashi-geri just the statement was borderline. I focused on one belt at a time, but at the same time very curious to see what the next belt did. I quickly found out to start writing down and practice further when I got home, so that you didn't forget and could always turn the pages back.

So, since I had met the formal requirements for a recommendation and approval for it, the focus had to be on the 5 stop tests.

The physical part, I trained regularly in the gym and a month before the test I knew I could complete that part.

I was reasonably sharp in the syllabus test - I think so, so it "only" had to be brushed off. I didn't have to learn a lot in a short time.

The Ryugi test was immediately something else. Here I learned that it was not enough to know the Japanese and Danish words for the exercises. Much more was needed. When I asked what else, I was told: EVERYTHING! Hmmm. Now I had to read in the syllabus book and on the website and where should I start. It became somewhat confused and unmanageable, which also showed in the test. I passed - but just on the verge.

The kumite part with TF 1+2+ a little more (schooled freestyle), was with mixed pleasure. Kumite and TF 1 and 2 I was comfortable with. It was something I knew, it was well trained and I had participated in both TF 1 and 2. I also knew that it would take place in safe and orderly conditions. What I was not so excited about was T. F + a little more, partly I thought how much more, partly I was worried about my male colleagues. It was the part they were most looking forward to and this was said with a wild expression in their eyes – shudder!. However, I also got a cut above my eye after a punch. and had to go to the hospital and get stitches. But it was no worse than I could and would continue. Moreover, it was completely safe, they said at the hospital, and at Shindenkan's events, there is always an experienced event doctor present (Christian).

Endurance and mad fighting on the cushion, I had also tested before the final, so I also knew about that. What wasn't so cool were all the eyes on you. Being in the spotlight has never been my favorite situation.

It also became my biggest obstacle in my course up to graduation. From being her with reasonable self-confidence and psyche in the dojo, I now went into complete self-reliance and only focused on being looked at. Now I have never bothered to be at graduation and have often "failed" one thing or another and on the day of my first graduation I had, for example, flu with a high fever - I thought. When I got home in the evening the fever went down and the next day everything was as it used to be. You can probably call it lamp fever

The last 3 weeks before div. stoptest, I was completely stuck. I couldn't remember endings, got stuck in the middle of katas, I was stiff in my body, couldn't move fast and just a little fluid, and also wasn't able to learn new things in training. When I trained at home it went fairly well until I imagined the graduation process. I spoke to both Jens Kyoshi and Kjeld Renshi-Dai, who offered good advice and encouragement. That helped too, but not for long because now the anxiety had taken hold of me.

I began to evaluate myself. Had I overtrained both in terms of physical test and syllabus test. I didn't eat optimally, what the f… is happening?

The last week leading up to the physical test, I trained nothing apart from the scheduled hours in the dojo. I spent Saturday on yoga, stretching and meditation. I had been recommended to use the meditation by Kjeld Renshi-Dai. I had also used the meditation in the past week and with great benefit.

The next days, 5 days up to the hardest course - stop test 2, 3 and 4 took place in the same way. Only training in the dojo, yoga, stretching and meditation. I showed up for these stop tests with a new attitude. I didn't have to justify my anxiety all the time, I couldn't do anything about it now, I had to deal with the fact that it was so. But it should not be allowed to overshadow my graduation. And so it was! I became 3 kyu – brown belt 

What have I learned and what can I use and work on in my course at Shindenkan?

• to accept oneself for better or for worse
• to be good to oneself
• that the future is created by your actions and not by what you say or think you will do