Graduation article summer 2025
By Mads Villadsen, 20 years old, 1st kyu, Yakami Shinsei-ryu Taijutsu & Karate-do (the multi-track martial arts system), 1st kyu, Bujutsu Kodosokukai Jikitai Karate-do (Original gl. Original Okinawa Karate-do), 1st dan, Bujutsu Kodosokukai sports karate-do (Gensei-ryu heritage from 1965 and comparable degree to Shotokan, Goju-ryu, Taekwondo, Judo, Jujutsu, Kendo, etc.)
All stories are unique – very special in their own way. My story starts back in the summer of 2023, when I graduated 2nd Kyu YSTK, and by then I had already made the decision to continue in the graduation process towards 1st Kyu YSTK in 2024. But it wasn't supposed to happen that way.
As many of you can probably nod in recognition, things don't always go according to plan. And they didn't for me either. In the 2024 season, I signed up for the gross list towards graduation to 1st Kyu at the summer meet. But the reality turned out to be different.
When you go to graduate school in a curriculum as comprehensive and universal as ours, you need to have the right mindset. Because if you don't, you're not ready. I wasn't, and that's why I wasn't nominated for graduation in 2024. It was incredibly frustrating. But I was determined to continue my journey. So I did, in the way I could now. I needed to take a step back and look at myself and reach out for help where it was needed. Something I hadn't done in a long time.
Then came the final gross list for the 2025 season. It was with mixed feelings that I put myself forward with some of the others and said I would try again. I would give it one more try. I would not give up. I would not let the dream die. This time I was nominated. And thus began one of the most demanding and most meaningful journeys.
The rest of the season went by way too quickly. It was as if all the things I had struggled with last season were now so much easier. It wasn't physically that had gotten easier – no, that's a whole other side of the story. But the mental, the mindset, was right this time. Something inside me had fallen into place.
The physical aspect hasn't really been a problem before. I had prepared well, and when I took the Katafit 15s without any problems in December 2024, I knew that my form was fine. I've never really had any problems with the fitness test before. I've always run the last few times, and I thought I was really good at it. Cycling wasn't my cup of tea, and no one had tried rowing for years. And then the rote stone also had a reputation for being the worst test there was. But by chance I tried the rote stone for fun, and it turned out that I had a talent for it. That's why I switched to the rote stone instead. And it turned out to be the best decision I had made in a long time.
If you have been training in Shindenkan for a while, at some point you will find out what the Ayame brand is. There are two Ayame brands: Ayame GOLD IRIS and Ayame Kuroi.
I will never forget March 1st – the SB BB training where Kimu Sensei planted the idea of Ayame Gold. I was sitting on the bench with my cheeks swollen from having my wisdom teeth removed a few days before, still sore and unable to train. In the middle of the class, Kimu Sensei turned to me and said with his characteristic, calm smile: “Maybe you should consider going for Ayame Gold this summer. But you should do it for your own sake – not for anyone else’s. If you want to try, you need to get up to a fitness level of 72 to have the energy for the test. Only about 0.0001 % reaches that level. You can easily do it, but remember: it’s hit or miss – the whole graduation is ruined if you fail Ayame Gold.”
It sounded completely impossible at the time, as I sat there, unable to even exercise due to the pain. But even in the midst of it, I thought, “What if?” So I decided to give it a shot.
For the first time, I began to see Ayame Gold not as an unattainable dream, but as a real possibility – and that became the turning point in my training.
What is Ayame Gold?
The Ayame mark is Shindenkan's filter between the dream of a black belt and the reality behind it. The name comes from the iris flower (ayame in Japanese) – a Shinto symbol of yin-yang balance and the full circle of development. Where Ayame Kuroi (black) marks that you meet the minimum requirement for strength and fitness (Very high fitness compared to the population of the Nordic countries), Ayame Gold means that you deliberately choose the highest standard and accept the risk: If you don't pass, the entire graduation stops (World's elite fitness score, typically around 20+ % higher than Ayame Kuroi).
To pass, you must go to TG4 (2.kyu-1.dan Sr):
- Stop test 1 – dynamic strength: at least KataFIT 15 S (depending on grade)
- Stop test 2 – fitness: world fitness elite + KataFIT 5 S
- Pass Ayame at two different graduations, at least one of which is Ayame Gold standard.
- Zero margin for error – if you “only” hit the Ayame Kuroi level, you fail the Ayame Gold pre-selection.
The purpose is threefold:
- Safety – that you can physically, mentally and emotionally complete the demanding black belt course without breaking down.
- Self-discovery – the 6–12 month process forces you into discipline, planning, and honest analysis of your own abilities.
- Role model – the badge is visible proof in the dojo of who has completed it – and thus who you can usefully ask for advice.
In other words, Ayame Gold is not an extra flair on the belt, but the very essence of Shindenkan's philosophy: to know yourself, to exceed your own limits, and to take responsibility for both success and failure. That's why Kimu Sensei's words resonated in my mind: Do it for yourself. Because when the test finally comes, there is only one who can stand it – and one who will bear the full brunt if you fail.
The Ayame badge shows that you are ready for the black belt path – both physically, mentally and as a role model in the dojo.
But how many have done it? I, like many others, have heard the old story that only three people have passed Ayame Gold – all women. That no men have been able to do it. Throughout my training at Shindenkan, I have heard of men who have tried to take Ayame Gold, but all have failed. I couldn't understand it. It couldn't be that impossible. Or could it?
It was only when I went after the goal myself that I truly understood the extreme physical and mental demands it poses.
I have been fortunate to have a lot of amazing people along my journey – people I deeply value. It is invaluable to have people around you who have your best interests at heart. Both at our training sessions locally, nationally and at the gym, where the conversations often revolve around karate.
What I've noticed now is how many times my friends have told me, "We believe in you. You can do it 100% %."
And it's funny to think that the only person who ever doubted whether I could handle my graduation and Ayame Gold was myself.
It's something that lies so deeply in some people, like myself: doubting yourself, believing you're not good enough, that you're not special. It sounds very negative, and it can be. But it shouldn't take control of you. Because then you're holding yourself back.
It's normal to get nervous – we all do. But in the very moment when the nervousness sets in, I've had to prove to myself that I'm good enough. That there's something special in all of us – including me. Because you can, if you really want to.
Even though I had prepared thoroughly, I couldn’t help but feel nervous when the graduation window opened. That month was filled with physical and mental tests that demanded everything I had in me. It was a tough period, but also incredibly meaningful. I clearly felt how much my training had developed me – how important it is to be able to stand on your own two feet, even when the pressure is at its most intense.
Especially when it comes to the Shiai stop test – free fight without weight, age, gender, classes, full contact, floor fight and minimum rules. It reflects and prepares – if reality is unfortunate. It was the second time I had to go through it, and the experience this time was very different. Now I had tried it before, so I knew a little about what I was getting into. I had learned so much the first time, but this time it was against some new opponents that I had not tried to be in free fight with. This stop test still ended with William kicking me in the head and giving me a full knockout, which only lasted one to two seconds, but which left me incapacitated and defenseless afterwards.
The summer competition came, and it was a real pleasure. In the first half, I had to teach quite a few of the younger students – something that I feel very at home in and enjoy a lot. Of course, I also had to be tested myself and in the second half of the competition I had to show what I could do in the OBC certification. And then it came: the stamina stop test. The one that comes every time there are black or brown belt graduations. The one that is the last stop test before you reach the finish line. But it is also the one that requires you to give it your all. That you go to the limit – and then some.
Luckily, I had been assigned William by Kimu Sensei, my friend and training partner for many years and since childhood, as a cushion holder. Those who have tried the stamina test know that it takes a really good cushion holder to complete it. And I just had that. I couldn't have wished to complete the last stopping test with anyone else but him. It was a strange feeling to start the stamina test. With nerves all over my clothes and adrenaline running through my body and many people shouting and cheering around you, I made it through the first two rounds. But then to the third round, where it's just pure pain, willpower and survival. Here everything hurts, and you want it to stop for the world. Along the way, I experienced that I couldn't hear anything – it was as if there was complete silence – until everything came crashing back down, and I could hear everyone shouting my name when I was the last one left on the floor, after which I was stopped as the last one.
With the final exam passed, graduation was complete. I became the 4th to complete an Ayame Gold, the first man to complete an Ayame Gold ever. Awarded the OBC Competency Mark 4. And the first in 20 years to be awarded a 1st dan-ho degree – at the same time as also just becoming a student on the sidelines, finishing with a 12. To achieve all that at once feels completely unreal.
It has undoubtedly been my best season in Shindenkan – a journey filled with difficult challenges, but also great victories.
If I can do it, so can you. That's the most important message I can give.
I probably don't know how to fully understand it all yet – that will come with time. But I do know one thing: I gave it everything I had. I kept going, even when it was hard. And even though I'm still just Mads, with all that I am and am not, I've proven something important to myself. That the impossible can be done if you dare to believe in it – and go all the way with your heart first.
